Welcome to CNET's Love Syncs, where we answer your questions about online dating. I'm Erin Carson, staff reporter, resident young-enough person, refrigerdating correspondent , curator of oddities and the one most likely to leave you on "read. Q: I'm 54, queer, single and look young for my years. I've been trying to do the online dating thing but find it extremely difficult to wade through all the fake profiles and crazies.

In your opinion, is it better to pay for a dating service? My date tells me as the lights go down and the movie is starting that they have a murder charge. BUT they didn't do it, of course. Different date, different person. My date gets obliterated drunk. They pass out in the front seat of my car and begin thrashing and kicking while I'm driving.

Kicked my hand and steering wheel, almost causing us to go into the next lane of traffic. Then once we get almost to their place, they try to jump from the moving vehicle. This, or the person not showing up at all, is my new dating norm. I wish we could just go back to the days where you saw a cutie at the coffee shop and could ask them out for lunch.

OK, moving on. It's totally reasonable to think that someone who'd pry open the wallet to use a dating site would take a more serious approach when it comes to looking for love online. We think too much of people. If I may borrow and modify an old saying, a tool and their money are easily parted. Dating platforms often make niches for themselves. One might have a reputation for hookups. Another might market itself as the spot to find a hey-would-you-look-at-this-mole kinda partner.

Regardless, a lot of people still hop on any one they want. There's no scientific way to get a read on whether a paid site is better than a free one. Consumer Reports gave it a shot in Survey data actually found that free apps had a higher satisfaction rating than paid apps. Granted, satisfaction is relative. People weren't thrilled out of their minds with any of the apps in general, but the feeling was, there was plenty of value in the free ones. First, if you're curious about a particular paid app, you might try out a free trial.

Just be sure to read the terms of the trial and cancel before you get billed if you decide you don't want to use the service. Please don't try to invoice me if you forget. I'm saving all my money for a down payment on a cabin at the foot of a glacier in Iceland.

Another approach you might take instead of changing platforms: changing the parameters of what you're looking for. If the somethings are jumping out of your car, maybe spend more time scoping out the and somethings.

Depending on the platform you use, you might be able to sift out profiles by factors like relationship objectives hookups, long term dating, etc. Don't be afraid to mess around with all those sliders and filters to see who else is out there and who might be a better fit. Of those, 12 percent have gotten married or been in a committed relationship with someone they met through online dating—a notable increase from just 3 percent in Online dating appears to be a practical way to date for most people.

According to the study, roughly 60 percent of participants have had positive experiences with dating platforms. Many people have success finding romantic partners online, whether they're looking for something casual or long term.

Overall, the majority of participants found it relatively easy to meet potentially compatible partners in terms of those they found attractive or with whom they shared hobbies and interests.

Research shows, however, there are negative side effects of online dating, particularly for young women. According to the survey, 60 percent of women ages 18 to 34 say someone on an app or dating site kept contacting them after they said they weren't interested while about the same percentage of women in that age group reported that they were sent unsolicited sexually explicit pictures or messages.

Bobby says the reason for many of the negative aspects of online dating could be a lack of what she calls a "shared community. Before you download an app or two and create your profile, Bobby recommends some soul-searching. The last thing you want to do is start matching with people online, get to talking, and realize you have no idea what you're looking for out of a partner or a relationship. It's also important to do some research about the app you decide to download and find out how it works.

Then, spend some time and energy on your profile. Choose pictures and prompts that show who you are, what you like, and how you present yourself to the world. If it's clear you haven't put any thought or effort into your profile, potential partners might assume you'll take the same approach in a relationship.

Once you've created your profile, don't expect to meet "the one" right away, and prepare to spend a significant amount of time vetting potential partners. But since we don't have all the time in the world to swipe, having a system to weed out those with whom you are incompatible is key.

Move from texting to a phone or video call ASAP for a better sense of mutual interest and compatibility. Even if it feels awkward, it can save you a lot of time—and disappointment. Odds are, if you've participated in online dating, you have a few bad date stories. Often the cause of these negative experiences is that your expectations don't match up with reality. Bobby says that while online dating requires some "marketing savvy" and the ability to, in essence, sell yourself online, you shouldn't sacrifice the truth to come across as what you perceive to be "better.

Be authentic, and you'll attract those with similar values. On the other hand, avoid falling victim to someone you suspect is being deceitful on their profile by noticing red flags. Not everyone has social media or updates it regularly, but most people who do will be glad to share their profiles with you when asked. And most of the time, if someone is truly interested, they'll hop on a phone call or video chat with you before meeting up, even if they feel a bit awkward.

Going into a date "cold" with someone you aren't entirely sure about can often end up being a waste of time and lead to disappointment. Lastly, when you do get that match or first date, it's important for you and a prospective partner to feel a certain chemistry, but don't rely on it completely. Too much wit and charm may give you butterflies, but it can also be a sign that the person is a "player" or even a narcissist.

Look for depth, emotional intelligence, empathy, friendship, aligned values, and psychological flexibility if a long-term relationship is your goal. A healthy relationship is totally possible whether you're meeting people in person or online, but the two methods differ for a variety of reasons. The fact is, there are positives to meeting IRL. When two people meet organically, it's probably because they already have something in common, like friends or hobbies.

But that doesn't mean online dating can't be equally as successful. Since everyone on a dating site is presumably available, you have ample opportunities to put yourself out there and find a good match. When you engage in social events where you're likely to meet new people, the pool of those who are single and looking is much smaller than when you're on an app or dating site where everyone is in the same boat as you.

Erin Carson covers internet culture, online dating and the weird ways tech and science are changing your life. Welcome to CNET's Love Syncs, where we answer your questions about online dating. I'm Erin Carson, staff reporter, resident young-enough person, refrigerdating correspondent , curator of oddities and the one most likely to leave you on "read.

Q: I'm 54, queer, single and look young for my years. I've been trying to do the online dating thing but find it extremely difficult to wade through all the fake profiles and crazies. In your opinion, is it better to pay for a dating service?

My date tells me as the lights go down and the movie is starting that they have a murder charge. BUT they didn't do it, of course. Different date, different person. My date gets obliterated drunk. They pass out in the front seat of my car and begin thrashing and kicking while I'm driving. Kicked my hand and steering wheel, almost causing us to go into the next lane of traffic. Then once we get almost to their place, they try to jump from the moving vehicle. This, or the person not showing up at all, is my new dating norm.

I wish we could just go back to the days where you saw a cutie at the coffee shop and could ask them out for lunch. OK, moving on. It's totally reasonable to think that someone who'd pry open the wallet to use a dating site would take a more serious approach when it comes to looking for love online.

We think too much of people. If I may borrow and modify an old saying, a tool and their money are easily parted. Dating platforms often make niches for themselves.

One might have a reputation for hookups. Another might market itself as the spot to find a hey-would-you-look-at-this-mole kinda partner. Regardless, a lot of people still hop on any one they want. There's no scientific way to get a read on whether a paid site is better than a free one. Consumer Reports gave it a shot in Survey data actually found that free apps had a higher satisfaction rating than paid apps. Granted, satisfaction is relative. People weren't thrilled out of their minds with any of the apps in general, but the feeling was, there was plenty of value in the free ones.

First, if you're curious about a particular paid app, you might try out a free trial. Just be sure to read the terms of the trial and cancel before you get billed if you decide you don't want to use the service. Please don't try to invoice me if you forget. I'm saving all my money for a down payment on a cabin at the foot of a glacier in Iceland. Another approach you might take instead of changing platforms: changing the parameters of what you're looking for.

If the somethings are jumping out of your car, maybe spend more time scoping out the and somethings. Depending on the platform you use, you might be able to sift out profiles by factors like relationship objectives hookups, long term dating, etc. Don't be afraid to mess around with all those sliders and filters to see who else is out there and who might be a better fit. And if you see anything questionable on someone's profile hmmm, so weird they're double-fisting 40s in EVERY SINGLE PHOTO maybe take a pass.

Finally, let me also offer this because, well, we're here anyway: When you're going on a first date with a stranger from the internet , you might consider limiting how you interact. For example, instead of riding together, meet up somewhere. If things get weird, you both can leave separately. People knock the old coffee date, but it's useful for keeping a first-date situation contained if that's what you're looking for! And while people will disagree with me on this -- I think it's fine to do some light Googling in advance.

You don't need to do a deep dive on their IG, but it doesn't hurt to know if they were arrested last month for trying to steal a yacht. LET'S HEAR IT FOR SAFETY. And that can be helpful, because online dating often requires endurance.

Minimizing the bonkers encounters will go a long way in helping you hang in there. Read more: Best dating sites of CNET's Love Syncs is an advice column focusing on online dating. If you've got a question about finding love via app, send it to erin. carson cbsinteractive. com for consideration. Should You Upgrade to iPhone 14? Your guide to a better future. Want CNET to notify you of price drops and the latest stories?

No, thank you Accept. Erin Carson. Erin Carson Senior Writer. True love. Let's jump in. Just for fun, here's examples of what I've experienced: My date tells me as the lights go down and the movie is starting that they have a murder charge. A: To start, I'd like to say this: Damn. Click here for more Love Syncs. So, I know what you're thinking: WOW, THANKS. SO HELPFUL, LOVE SYNCS. Fear not. I've got a couple of suggestions for you. Read more: Best dating sites of CNET's Love Syncs is an advice column focusing on online dating.

Get the CNET TVs, Streaming and Audio newsletter. Become a home entertainment expert with our handpicked tips, reviews and deals. Delivered Wednesdays.

If you've got a question about finding love via app, send it to erin. Finally, let me also offer this because, well, we're here anyway: When you're going on a first date with a stranger from the internet , you might consider limiting how you interact. And while people will disagree with me on this -- I think it's fine to do some light Googling in advance. One might have a reputation for hookups. Is online dating a waste of time? You can get to know people without having to leave your room if you wanted to which woulf be the necessary first step of traditional dating. Photograph: Getty Images.

Categories:

• Best dating
• Free apps
• Dating sites
• Dating website
• Dating apps